and this is one in the pantheon: reaching days where you drive one another to a colonoscopy.
Wait, wait…bear with me, and yes, I have her permission to tell this tale and use this pic…but amidst the beautifully coiffed and exceptionally well staged wedding images in this day and age there needs be room for the equally as beautiful authentic days in marriage like, well, colonoscopy days.
Please don’t mis-read me here, I love the sacred space around any wedding, and I have appreciated the immense splendor my beautiful clients and colleagues have created around an altar, but if I have any role within this “industry” it is to open eyes to the sacredness of, well, “colonoscopy days,” to point the gaze beyond the decor and color palette and fabric swatches to somethings perhaps a bit more foundational to a marriage.
Today’s was a good report. Thankfully. We know some don’t get a good report, and in our marriage, we’ve lived through our medical challenges too. So what to say, to engaged couples, some who may have just recently given and received a ring saying “I will,” and “yes?” What do these couples most need to hear or read or think about as they embark? Today was my turn in the waiting room, knowing full well she’s logged hours in my waiting rooms too. Today I say THIS is marriage, a scene to envision upon being engaged, driving each other home from a endoscopy center, to take care, to laugh together at the human-ness of life with each other.
I know, I know, we all want beautiful weddings that lead to beautiful marriages, and such a commitment is deserving of whatever scale of celebration is chosen. And while I would never weave this into a wedding homily, today I heard myself say to a couple at an altar, “there will be a colonoscopy one day, are you cool with that?” And when they say to each other “yes, we will be cool with the colonoscopy day,” I say “Amen. Let’s party.”