The Better Conversation


Every week in the United States of America over forty thousand weddings are performed, celebrated, officiated or stamped. Although they don’t all survive to see the golden years when his comb over is far worse than her crow’s feet, they all start with the best of loving intentions.

Some make it. Some don’t.

If choice of venue were a precursor to marital success, Carolina couples would be ahead of the curve. Standing beneath a Live Oak with Spanish moss adorning the ceremony like lacey brides maids, or listening to a couple say, “I will” as the sun sets beyond a sweetly swaying coastal marsh may be as beautiful and sacred a setting as any limestone and mortar sanctuary, but marriage aint about the venue, nor even the officiant. Doesn’t even matter if braised pork belly Crostini and sweet glazed asparagus with lobster Spring Rolls are served at the reception.

Marital success doesn’t have much, if anything, to do with the ceremony.

Marriage is hard work. Period. Effort is usually rewarded.

So, in light of that fact, maybe the conversation should evolve from debating who can and cannot get married, to a more fruitful one, like, “How can we do this better?”

And to be clear, while pork belly and lobster served at the reception don’t help a marriage…couldn’t hurt either!


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VOW provides wedding officiant services and pre-marital marriage health dialogue to ALL.

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